THE Nth DEGREE: THE STRAIGHT DOPE
BABY
by N, The Love Correspondent




















I recently got an email from an old friend. It was wonderful. It contained lots of information about her family, her job, her new husband and even beautiful photos of her toddler, and then she did IT, “When-are-you-going-to-have-a-baby?”

I cringed.

See having a baby was never a When question for me but an If question. It was a choice that I could make When and or If I was ever ready. Lately though, especially with the rapidly approaching thirties, it seems as if society has chosen for me. The If that I always knew as choice, in a sense, now comes with a stigma. People either assume one of two things:

1. You can’t have children do to some medical concern. Poor you. You should adopt immediately.
OR
2. You are egotistical, selfish, and down right “disrespectful” bitch towards womankind and their eventual role. You choose to put work, money, travel, love or anything and everything else in front of the “joys of motherhood.” In the words of my mother, “It is a waste of your womanly parts! That is what they’re there for! You only care about you!”

I do care about me. I care about the sense of disillusionment and doubt when thinking about motherhood and childbirth. I care about the fact that I can’t manage money properly and could make bad financial decisions that could affect my child. I am egotistical enough to know that my work is important, the job I do there makes a difference and keeps me mentally fed. I also know I have an opinion. I have choice.

So when I went to reply to my friends email, I simply stated,

“Your son is beautiful and truly a gift. I am so happy for you.”

“P.S. If I choose to have a baby, then I will let you know. It’s just me right now and I’m okay with that choice.”

PIMP THIS |