IT’S NOT YOU, IT’S ME

a film written & directed by Malik Isasis


















The Trailer

It’s not often that I write about my film work, but here I am. My film It’s Not You, It’s Me is screening at the Black International Cinema Berlin this Saturday, May 5, 2007 in Berlin. Berlin is one of my favorite cities. I filmed a documentary there in 2001, just before September 11, 2001. It was the last time I visited the city. If you are in Berlin, please stop by the Nickelodeon Cinema to show your support.

I was inspired to write It’s Not You, It’s Me after seeing Spanish director Julio Medem’s beautiful and lyrical film Sex and Lucia four years ago. The rest of the inspiration came from a series of hellish dates.

It’s Not You, It Me is about sex, utter confusion and hurt. The relationship culture in America is set up around the premise that one can create and control attraction by simply changing the physical appearance. We have no control over who will be attracted to us, nor can we make others love us. Yet, Hollywood and Madison Avenue tells us that we can do both of these things and somehow remain authentic.

Once Upon a Time

About two and half years ago I was having dinner with a friend and saw an attractive woman sitting at table nearby. Eventually, I built up the nerves to go over and talk to her. I asked her out and she accepted.

Two weeks later we went out for dinner. My attraction to her was unbelievable and what annoyed me during dinner was that the growing attraction appeared to be going only one way. I wanted her to like me the way that I liked her.

We decided to go dancing afterwards. It was “I Heart Shiva” night at the Baltic Room here in Seattle. The bangra music was going and the place was packed and jumping. We headed for the dance floor and danced non-stop. To top things off, she danced well—throwing her hips and ass rhythmically to the tablas. The more we danced, the more I fantasized about her—not just in a sexual way—but romantically. Finally the tablas and the jumping and grinding stopped and the lights came on.

I drove her home. I parked in front of the house before I could say anything, she turned to me and said:

“Malik, I think you’re a really great guy.”

My heart sank. Women aren’t attracted to great guys, nor sweet guys.

She kissed me on the cheek and thanked me for the night and suggested that we hang out sometime.

The Transient

Disappointed I went to my favorite burrito joint in Seattle. I’d noticed a transient on the corner. The man was covered in filth, and his clothes were tattered. “Food…food…food,” he mumbled under his breath.

He rested on two crutches. I couldn’t tell if he had one or both of his legs. I remember this because his hustle was unusual. So, I made a conscience decision to buy the brother a burrito. I ordered two vegetarian burritos and brought one of the burritos out to him and handed it over. He paused and looked at me without taking the bag.

“What is it?” He said.

“A burrito.” I said.

“Does it have vegetables?” He asked.

“Yes, it’s a vegetarian burrito” I said. He frowned.

“I don’t eat vegetables—I need meat. I need meat!” He said.

Naturally, I frowned, got back in my car and drove away. I ate my burrito and his, angrily as I thought about my night. It had so much potential and there I was eating a burrito wondering what in the hell went wrong. In that moment of despair of being rejected by a beautiful and intelligent woman, and then by a transient, life was shitastic.

I was angry, steamed. The next day after having some space, I laughed and thought, this man, even homeless with nothing to eat, had standards. He knew exactly what he wanted and he didn’t compromise. So, maybe this is the essence of life, right? In spite of whatever great qualities you may have, people inextricably know what they want.

XXII. BLACK INTERNATIONAL CINEMA BERLIN
Germany & U.S.A.2007
MAY 3-6 / 3.-6. MAI
Nickelodeon Cinema
Torstraße 216, Berlin/Mitte

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